Do You Have The Queen Bee Complex?

Executive Assistants have attitude. It's part of their personality that makes them effective EAs. What I mean by attitude is that they exude that aura of competitiveness and command. They know the weight of the responsibility placed on their shoulders and this shows in how they conduct themselves with other people. It's a job that comes with high expectations - from their bosses and from the people they work with.

As an EA, I never dreamed that I'll win a Miss Congeniality contest and honestly, I don't aim to. I accept that helping implement policies and cascading directives from the President's office will not always make me popular with the rest of the workforce. Whether we like it or not, the messenger always get shot. It's part of the job and I've learned how to take it in stride. But while I may not kiss-ass and gossip with the girls, I always try to be as helpful and accommodating as I can - even to people I don't like. That can be difficult at times when you really really just want to tell someone what you think of them! 

Having a strong personality doesn't mean being rude or petty. There were many times when I wanted to unleash some of that attitude that I'm talking about - and I must admit that there were times that I did - but never in a rude or petty way - and never for personal reasons. When a situation became too much for me to handle in a professional manner, I just do the one thing people hate EAs for... I escalated it to my boss. End of issue.

EAs have influence and power, that cannot be discounted, but we shouldn't brandish it around and shove it in people's faces. It's not a license for rudeness and pettiness. We should give respect where it is due, especially when we're telling people something they won't like to hear. It gives a bad reputation to the office we're serving when we're being rude, personally and through our emails. People will think that our bosses allow us to act that way. Ok, maybe your boss knows about this side of you and just tolerates it - but still, it's very unprofessional.

In a company where there are several EAs, you see the quality of the EAs by the way they conduct business with each other. You know the big cats in the wild? They are terribly territorial and will attack anyone who tries to encroach on their territory. EAs are like that. We are protective of our area of responsibility and our bosses. When we feel threatened, there is a tendency to be aggressive - especially to other EAs.

But you as an Executive Assistant must try to always present a professional front. It is to your benefit if you have a network of people with skills you do not have, who can help you with your daily tasks. To take some of the deliverables off your plate. A fellow EA is someone who can watch your back when you are indisposed for one reason or another. They can pick up some of the slack. What is the benefit of antagonizing them just because you feel threatened?

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When you feel threatened because you secretly know that you lack the skills to compete with other EAs around you, what you will try to do is wield some of that power that you know you have. But people will see it for what it is - jealousy, rudeness and pettiness. It's shameful, really.

Instead of roaring and showing how ruffled your feathers are, what you can do instead is improve on your own skills. You shouldn't rest on your laurels, even if you've been holding the position for a long time. The corporate landscape is very competitive nowadays and anyone who doesn't keep their skills updated will definitely fall behind. If that happens to you, surely it's not anyone's fault but yours? There's no need to hold a grudge.

There are different kinds of EAs, with different skill sets. Some are just tasked with secretarial jobs such as managing the calendar, setting up meetings, screening calls and visitors - and some EAs are more like business managers/Executive Office managers. These EAs are more involved in their executive's business life, rather than just being a personal assistant. They can collate reports, handle financial approvals, manage the executive office, etc. They have more responsibility and it's only natural that these types of EAs have developed more skills than an EA who is only tasked to manage the basics.

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We should be aware and accepting of our own limitations and focus on improving our strengths. If you want to do more, then develop more skills. Don't take it out on the people around you and you certainly shouldn't use your influence and position when you feel threatened.

When my boss hired a Chief of Staff to handle his team's deliverables, do his reports and take minutes of the meetings, I didn't feel threatened. I welcomed it! He probably noticed that I was a very poor minute taker and really, excel is not my strength. I hate numbers. The help was invaluable to me and it made us a more effective team since he now has people with different skills that complement each other.

Don't feel threatened by these scenarios. We each have our own roles to play and we should focus on just being the best at what we do.

When EAs collaborate effectively with each other, what cannot be done? We must use our power and influence for the benefit of our executives and the company - and not as a tool for our own personal vendettas and pettiness.

Executive Assistants represent the executive and office they serve. Always remember that! So, the next time you feel like being rude or petty - swallow it. What good does it do? You are just flaunting the chink in your armor for everyone to ridicule. Walk away and keep your dignity.

How do you think Executive Assistants should behave in the corporate jungle? Share your thoughts.